Ovaltine provided us with one of the greatest deep fanon concepts to ever grace the wiki. The real joy in the article comes from the manner in which users immediately railed on it. It's saved here for posterity and idea plundering. Since we're lazy.

The ArticleEdit

This article, Fanon Classic Ur-Shamash, is still being created by the author. The author, OvaltinePatrol, apologizes for the inconvenience.

"This Article reeks of Matt Ward..."

This article, Fanon Classic Ur-Shamash, has been deemed to be non canon friendly. Please see the talk page for reasons why.

The Ur-Shamash are one of the best kept secrets of the universe. They are vastly prolific, outnumbering every species in the galaxy. They are ancient, predating the Old Ones and the C'tan. They're discrete, having infiltrated every solar system without notice. They operate on a scope and scale that dwarfs everything else in the Milky Way and are completely unconcerned with matters of the Imperium, the Eldar, or anyone else save for a passing concern of the Necrons. Their reproductive cycle is measured in hundreds of billions of years, and they fully expect to pass this iteration of existence by and begin again in the next epoch of reality. Their entire species is currently in embryonic form, which outsiders would recognize as the stars themselves.


The Ur-Shamash are refugees from the previous iteration of the universe, escaping the heat death and collapse of their native reality and waiting out the new big bang from the safety of the Warp. The incredible energies involved in the journey forced them to regress into their pre-natal states, which are largely incompatible with the new universe. Within the first few million years of their incubation, the universe had already become populated with beings that prayed upon the Ur-Shamash's egg forms. Many of these creatures have since vanished from the universe, or dramatically changed in form and function, others haunt distant galaxies. The C'Tan changed diets, opting to feast on lesser beings as they found the souls of this time more succulent than the souls of the dead past. Another peril to their existence came in the forms of the Ova-Tenabrae and their fleets of Shemal-Lilitu class Dreadnoughts, which would drain stars of their nuclear fuel to power their terrible Creation Engines. These and dozens of others of species in the Milky Way Galaxy alone preyed upon the Ur-Shamash for eons, until the War in Heaven cleared the playing field of most of the Kardashev Class IV and higher lifeforms and civilization.

The star children were glad to be free of the immediate danger of the constant slaughter, and seethed at their helplessness, longing for the day when they could lower the light index and hatch, to raise the beams of their cosmic machinery.


The Ur-Shamash are uncomfortable with the particulars of the most recent big bang. They intend to incubate until intelligent life dies out, and then get to work assembling the infrastructure necessary to steer the course of this universe's collapse and heat death in order to pre-seed the next universe with a more hospitable set of physical laws, frequencies of light and radiation, and ratios of dark energy. They will deviate from this course only if attrition of their numbers reaches dangerous levels. Fortunately for them, most conventional forms of life benefit from their proximity, and indeed required it to evolve in the first place, there's a vested interest for most of them to protect their native stars. Unfortunately, the exotic lifeforms that prey on stars tend to be beyond the scope of typical, terrestrial life to combat.

They would also like to solve the mystery of what causes some of their number to spontaneously explode, a phenomenon that other species refer to as a super-nova. However the Ur-Shamash typically lack agency, and their method of communication draws attention of scientists of various species who wish to learn more about these "solar flares," forcing the Ur-Shamash to effectively babble at each other to prevent any patterns that could be interpreted as communication from being detected.

The Talk PageEdit

Wut. -- Solomus-BlackWing -(Talk |My Sandbox) 21:45, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

I wanted to outscope GW.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 21:46, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Lemme guess, Douchard has all of these guys on speed dial. -- Solomus-BlackWing -(Talk |My Sandbox) 21:49, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

No, he'd have no real way of knowing about them. It's not like they're buying toaster ovens or guns.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 22:02, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Not happening. I am your master! At your service. (talk) 21:52, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

gg Supah ain't having any of this. -- Solomus-BlackWing -(Talk |My Sandbox) 21:52, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Now this is just stupid (and I've read Batman silver age comics). I'm sure its NCF in some way, no offence.  Cheers The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions 21:53, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Say offensive thing, say you mean no offense. Talk about disingenuous.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 22:02, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Can it get any more f*cking overpowered? NecrusIV, 22:01, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

What have they done that's overpowered? You're mistaking grandiosity of scale for power. It's not like they're flying around, swatting planets into dust and molesting the Chaos Gods.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 22:08, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

C'mon OP, you're not even trying anymore. -- Solomus-BlackWing -(Talk |My Sandbox) 22:10, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

On the contrary, I don't think any of you are trying. You look at an admittedly over-the-top race and your immediate instinct is to swat it down because you're thinking I'm going to start making a codex to play as stars in 40K. Think about this in terms of the opportunity it presents. There already exists within canon a race of critters that would eat these guys. Why not consider what other exotic lifeforms would mess around with stars.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 22:12, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

pls -- Solomus-BlackWing -(Talk |My Sandbox) 22:13, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Narp, you are in fact mistaking the grandiosity of scale for power. - NecrusIV, 22:14, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Well since your response to my points was to just dismiss me, I'll just have to continue working on it without your input. :-\ --OvaltinePatrol (talk) 22:17, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

You can keep working on it if you want, but I'll nuke it eventually. I am your master! At your service. (talk) 22:30, April 27, 2014 (UTC)

Well there's no point then. It's a shame though, it was going to be a story about seemingly omnipotent beings that actually lack any kind of agency and have to conceal themselves from lower life forms. They're not carving out an empire, they're waiting everyone out.--OvaltinePatrol (talk) 22:34, April 27, 2014 (UTC)