Scene 1 - Prologue 1: Chat Edit
The chat of Tranquility Lane was tastefully decorated and awash in pastel-like colours, inundated in the chatter of newfriends.
"Our article project this evening is a paramilitary with a power armour broth, with a commander with a pre-war backstory, and I also have a personal US state all to myself with an edgy backstory profiterole." waffled one newfriend.
Another followed him up, with a banter of staggering similarity "...For entrées this evening I have a meatlof of completely original, inspiring, character quotes with unique snowflake marmalade, and grilled free range modern language conventions and technology in an otherwise clearly established 1950's setting."
“God, I hate this place. It’s a newfriends chat,” spat a clearly irritated Imposter, not bothering to look to the rest of us as he spied over the rest of the Tranquillity Lane chat; “Why aren’t we at 40K?”
“Because,” announces OrkMarine, smirking at me pre-emptively; “Neck won’t give Supha head.”
“Hm, hm!” I let out a muffled laugh as I throw my cigarette at OrkMarine. Ork has already detached himself from our humorous spat and scans the chat for users; “Is that Plague?”
“Are you freebasing or what?” Imposter spits, clearly irritated. “It’s not Plague.”
“Well who is it then?”
“It’s not 40kfan,” I interject; “40kfan is sitting over there with T42.”
“They don’t have a good chat to shitpost in,” Ovaltine interrupts as he takes his seat.
"Are you sure that's 40kfan over there?" Orkmarine repeated.
"Yes, Orkmarine, I am." Imposter insisted bluntly.
"He's been blending in with the newfriends well" Orkmarine added.
"Fucking bastard" Imposter cussed.
"Fucking autist bastard" Orkmarine smriked.
"Jesus Ork, what has that got to do with anything" I interjected, attempting to smile away an otherwise overly SJW comment.
"I've seen that bastard, talking to Captain Cain on the tranquility lane chat, pulling a fucking depressed man's ego" Orkmarine affirmed, grinning with self-importance.
"Not a depressed man's ego, a tendency to only think of himself due to his low self esteem" I corrected.
"Oh my god Neck, you want me to fry you up some warm and fuzzy r&r, some anti-suicide counselling?" Orkmarine winced.
"No, just ah, cool it with the mental illness denying remarks." I replied.
Scene 3 - Introduction Edit
I live on Warhammer 40,000 Fanon Chat, amongst the chat moderators and administrators.
My name is NecrusIV.
I'm 20 years old.
I believe in taking care of myself,
In a balanced diet, in a rigorous quality control policy.
In the morning, if the newsfeed is looking of low quality, I'll throw down a few stub and quality issue templates before doing article deletions.
I've done up to 100 now.
After I code up the quality issue templates, I typically comment on poor spelling and grammar and an utter ignorance of our well-established policies.
After I publish the articles with their templates, I look through the wiki activity feed for notable events occurring within thriving newfriend population.
Once the wiki thrived with events, with newfriends writing awful fanon, pathetic code and pitiful article layouts left, right and centre. Typically far right.
However, today, the wiki appears to be but a barren wasteland, with some of the most amusing events being too sparse and small to really make me grimace at the sight of the imminent cultural degradation of modern civilisation.
Or, they are simply contrived for my own brief amusement.
... There is an idea of a 40k fanon Administrator.
Some kind of abstraction, but there is no real Admin.
Only an entity - something illusory.
And though I can hide my cold gaze,
And you can talk to me in the chat or comment on my articles and read human and well-versed responses, and may be you can even sense our life styles are probably comparable,
I simply am not there.
Act II - Scene 1 - ChuuihouEdit
"Do you like Khalael and the Ghost_K?"
"Uh, they're okay."
"Their early stuff was a bit too new wave for my tastes. But when Substantial Illusions came out in 2013, they really came into their own. Both creatively, and artistically. The whole story has a clear crisp style and a new sheen of constant professionalism, which really gives the chapters a big boost. He's been compared to Black Forge, but I feel Khalael has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humour."
"Why are their stubs all over the floor? You got a thing for Amy? A little rape fic or something?"
He starts laughing like an autist.
"Is that an NCF tag?"
"Yes it is."
"In 2015, Ghost_K released this. JiD!"
"A story so catchy, most people don't read the lines. It's not just about the importance of the Marxist ideology and the danger of religious extremisim but also a personal statement about the wikia itself."
I swing at him with the the ban.
"TRY GETTING AN ARTICLE ON THE WIKI NOW YOU FUCKING STUPID BASTARD!"